Student Challenges
DEFENDED AND HARD TO REACH
Students who are defended can give the impression that they do not want to be in connection with others. It is important to understand that this a ‘defense, a shell’ that is erected by their brain to protect them from all that is too much to bear in their world. They need to be secured, invited into connection with adults and interventions need to proceed ever so gently. Otherwise their brain will maintain the defenses and the student will become even harder to reach. These students crave attention and connection, it needs to be provided indirectly, generously, and without coercion. Our defended and hard to reach students need to be able to rely on and trust their adults. Understanding that this is highly challenging and vulnerable for them, establishing key adults and targeted interventions is recommended.
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Student Who is Disruptive & Alarmed Webinar
Student Who is Disruptive & Alarmed
Presentation Handout
INTERVIEW: Children Losing Their Feelings
Gabor Maté and Gordon Neufeld
Interview by the Dalai Lama Center for Peace and Education
Interview: Wounds and Vulnerability
Gabor Maté and Gordon Neufeld
Interview by the Dalai Lama Center for Peace and Education
Interview: Creating a Soft Heart Through Relationships
Gabor Maté and Gordon Neufeld
Interview by the Dalai Lama Center for Peace and Education
Interview: Building Capacity for Caring in Children
Gabor Maté and Gordon Neufeld
Interview by the Dalai Lama Center for Peace and Education
EDITORIAL: Hardened or Hardy? Holding Onto Kid’s Hearts
Deborah MacNamara
Psychologist Gordon Neufeld states there is a difference between a hardened heart, which does not feel vulnerable emotion, and one that is hardy and feels a lot. (1) Those with hardened hearts seem impervious to pain and suffering, withstand emotional wounding, exhibit invulnerability, and are short on empathy or caring for others. People with hardy hearts feel and express their vulnerable emotions such as sadness, caring, fear, shame, disappointment, or dependence, and continue to thrive despite facing adversity. The absence of vulnerable emotion is not a sign of health but one of human stuckness.
To read more: http://macnamara.ca/portfolio/hardened-or-hardy-how-to-hold-a-childs-heart/
Softening the Hardened Heart
Deborah MacNamara
Hearts can grow cold and become hardened, something poets, artists, and musicians have always claimed. From children to adults, emotional numbing is part of the human condition and reveals the inherent vulnerability in a system that was built to feel deeply. As Hank Williams lamented, “Why can’t I free your doubtful mind and melt your cold, cold heart?” The loss to human functioning is tragic as it is our caring that makes us fully human and most humane.
To read more: http://macnamara.ca/portfolio/softening-the-hardened-heart/
The Vulnerability Problem of the Bully
Deborah MacNamara
Bullies thrive on exploiting the vulnerability in others. Instead of protecting those who are in a weaker position they take advantage of them. They revel in having the upper hand. They don’t play by the rules or believe the rules apply to them. Bullies don’t think twice and lack the capacity for reflection. They are fearless, tearless, immature, and have to get their own way. They do not adapt when they face futility – they cannot hear ‘no’ and accept it. Bullies are dark inside; there is a void where vulnerable feelings are no longer felt.
To read more: https://www.cebm.ca/post/the-vulnerability-problem-of-the-bully
The Five Things Master Teachers Know and Do
Deborah MacNamara
What is the difference between a great teacher and a master teacher? After years of hiring and working with teachers, along with decades of experience in the classroom, I am convinced there are a few tangible things that set these groups apart. Here are the five things I have learned from being a teacher and watching master teachers in action.
To read more: https://www.cebm.ca/post/the-five-things-master-teachers-know-and-do